Here I am, sitting here in the comfort of my government-supplied house with my liberal family and my socialist dog railing against the mean-spirited, crappy ol' GOP, accusing them of all kinds of nasty stuff, demonizing them and generally making them sound all devilish and evil.
Shame on me.
Turns out that, when the shit really hits the fan economically, the Republicans are, at the end of the day, a totally reasonable bunch. For example, on taxes. The rest of the Democrats and I have been just lambasting our colleagues across the aisle for their complete and utter intransigence on the subject of taxes. "They will not," we thundered, "under any circumstances, even in a once-in-a-lifetime financial emergency like this, even consider raising taxes! Ideologues! Tyrants! Assholes!"
Well, never mind. I take it all back. Because, as it happens, the GOP is actually considering raising taxes. Hell, some of them are even talking about it on the campaign trail. Can you believe it? Amazing, right? I can hardly conceive of it myself.
Oh, one little thing: they want to tax the poor.
That's right. It seems that the poor have not been paying their fair share. In fact, did you know that some of them- perhaps even a majority of them- pay nothing in Federal income tax. Sure, a lot of that has to do with the fact that they're...you know...poor and everything. But that doesn't mean they can't dig deep down and contribute what they can. Haven't you heard? This is a down economy! Where's the sacrifice? Pony up, poor folks!
According to the leading voices of the right, it is important for everyone to contribute something. They should have, as they say, "skin in the game." Maybe if they were an active part of this economy, they'd get up off their lazy asses and start working for a change.
Until that sad day, we'll just have to wait for the Democrats to come around and realize that when it comes to balancing the budget, there's only one place to look:
In the gutter.