Don't Listen To Me

Listen to Charles:

The Little Giant

Okay, stop everything. Attention must be paid.

Legendary author, television and radio personality, film actor and all-around mensch Studs Terkel has died and, goddamn it, attention must be paid.

If you don't know who Studs Terkel was, well then you should be ashamed of yourself. The man was not only a literary giant (practically inventing his own genre), he was a TV host, raconteur, serial letter-to-the-editor writer and beloved lefty agitator. He was, truly, a Chicago Titan. If anyone in the history of this city ever truly represented Chicago, embodied it's spirit and had his words, personality and singular voice woven into the fabric of this magnificent town, Studs was the guy.

I had the honor of meeting Studs once, back when I directed an adaptation of his book "The Good War." This was about eight years ago and the man was practically stone deaf, even then. Still, for a guy in his late-80's, he was as sharp as ever. I thought I would be cowed in the presence of such an amazing, legendary human being, but there's no doubt about it...the guy could put you at ease and get you to talk.

Until very recently, Studs was active- writing, broadcasting...Jesus, the man was 96 years old for crying out loud! We should all be so lucky.

So whatever you're doing right this minute- knock it off. Moment of silence, please.

We shall never see his like again. God bless you, Studs.

Amen.

Racists for Obama

No, I'm not kidding.

Look, we've already talked about the supposed "Bradley effect," (white folks saying they'd vote for a black man but in the privacy of the booth changing their minds) but I'd like to see if we can introduce a new term that represents the "reverse Bradley." And, before you ask- yes, I did consider the "Yeldarb effect" but it's both too cutesy and too hard to say. Best, I suppose, if we just call it the "Obama effect."

Politico.com recently did a piece on this subject: racists (or, to put it more mildly, people who are "uncomfortable" around people of another race (in other words- racists)) who are so fed up with the economy, the war, the primate in the Oval Office and the false choice of supposed "change" being offered by the Republicans this year, that they are ready to overcome their discomfort over a black man leading the Dem ticket and might be willing to go ahead and vote for Obama.

From the article:

“What you see is it’s perfectly possible to hold a negative view of at least one aspect of African-Americans and yet simultaneously prefer Obama,” said Charles Franklin, a political scientist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. “Racial feelings are not as cut and dried — not as black and white — as people often say.”

This isn't something that we should celebrate too much, I'm thinking. After all, it's hardly like the Democrats should be saying "Hey, all you racist folk! Come on in! It's a big tent and you're more than welcome!" Not quite.

But if you're willing to get over your prejudices in the name of your children's or your country's future? We would absolutely welcome your vote.

Here's my favorite quote from the article:

“If you go to a white neighborhood in the suburbs and ask them, ‘How would you feel about a large black man kicking your door in,’ they would say, ‘That doesn’t sound good to me,’” said Democratic political consultant Paul Begala. “But if you say, 'Your house is on fire, and the firefighter happens to be black,' it’s a different situation.”

So let's be clear: the house is on fire. Who do you want in charge? Mr. Cool?

Or the guy with the gas can and the bimbo with the matches?

Illinois Judges

As in a few states, the wise people of Illinois get to vote for judges. Why? Because who better to evaluate whether or not to retain a Cook County Circuit Court judge than the common folk, who know virtually nothing about them?

Don't get me wrong. I love voter accountability and all that. But seriously- can you imagine doing this for, say, doctors? Why the hell are the voters of Illinois making this decision? Isn't there, say, some kind of association of professionals who work with these judges on a daily basis who could properly evaluate whether or not we should keep these jurists in office?

Oh wait. Yes, there is. The Chicago Bar Association. And like they do every year, they provide a helpful guide to tell you who, in their opinion, we should keep and who should be kicked to the curb. So if you care for a little guidance on this issue, by all means...have a look.

Informed voting...it's the new pink!

The Countdown Begins

Now that we're roughly 100 hours away from knowing who the next President will be, let's check back with our friends at the Electoral College, shall we?

When last we met, things were looking pretty good for Our Heroes. But this is hardly a time to let overconfidence cloud our judgement. In this wacky world of politics, where the roller-coaster of popularity can bring you crashing down just as fast as it raised you up...well, you just never know, do you?

So with a cynical eye and a knowledge that polls cannot be trusted, we look- not doe-eyed with naivete and innocence, but caustically, with maturity and a wizened countenance- at Electoral map and we see that....

...HOOOOOOOLY CRAP! Look-a that! Whoo-hoo! We're, like, totally kicking ass!

Okay, okay. Wait a minute. Breathe. Let's take this one by one. Keep it together, man!

Remembering, always, that the magic number is 270, let's see how things currently look based on the web's top Electoral maps:

Real Clear Politics: Obama 311, McCain 143. Tossups, 85. Not too shabby. Barack wins even if McCain wins ALL the tossup states. Cool.

Electoral Vote.com: Barack- 364, McCain: 171. This presumes wins in Florida and North Carolina for Obama, which would be nice, but I ain't bettin' on it. Still- we win.

What say you, CNN.com? Obama's 291 to McCain's 163, you say? With 84 in the tossup category? Thanks CNN.com!

Naturally, my beloved New York Times wants to weigh in: Obama's got 286 to McCain's 163, according to them, with 89 in the tossup category.

This trend continues:

If the site awards Electoral college votes based on how they are doing in the polls right now (leaning or otherwise), it's a blowout. Obama, at Electoral Map.com, for example, gets 353 to McCains 171. If, however, the races in certain states are deemed too close to call and are lumped into the "tossup" category (like at NPR)...things look a bit different. (In that map, Barack only wins 291 to 163).

Look around. There isn't a single map that shows McCain winning this thing. Not one.

So, this is over, right? WRONG. Obama is campaigning, as he should, as if he were ten points behind. He's all over the place, doing all he can to finish strong. McCain, for his part, continues the "Joe the Plumber" tour to smaller and smaller crowds, hoping for a miracle.

Well, miracles happen. We're in this 'til we hit the finish line, boys and girls.

See you in Grant Park for the finale.

Sure Looks Like It To Me

There's subliminal advertising (remember the "RATS" commercial when Bush was running) and there's subliminal advertising (see "Dorian Gray"!) , but then there's this. Can you see the (not so hidden) word in this screen shot?

They are clever bastards, aren't they?

Signs of the Apocalypse

You know the end of the world is at hand when you read headlines like this:

"Joe the Plumber May Try Singing Career."

May God have mercy on us all.

We're #1! We're #1!

During this fascinating political year, a lot of phrases and expressions have been introduced or recycled by the various candidates. “Maverick,” for example, got a lot of play. “Elitist” made its usual rounds, naturally. “Hockey mom,” “spread the wealth,” “change you can believe in” and “that old man is probably in diapers” were tossed about.

But one phrase, to me, was a head-scratcher. And it is: American exceptionalism. This is an expression that Sarah Palin likes to use a lot (perhaps to show that, unlike the Current Occupant, she can pronounce multi-syllabic words without sounding like she just learned them).

Now, if you’re like me (and many of you are), when you hear a phrase like “American exceptionalism,” it gives you pause. My first thought, upon hearing it used in this election was “Exactly what do you mean by that, Barbie?”. So, today, we’re going to dig into this a little further and see what we find.

“American exceptionalism” (let’s call it “AE” because I’m tired of typing it out in full) is hardly a new phrase. Introduced, during the days of the Founding Fathers and elaborated upon by the great Alexis de Tocqueville, “AE” was originally used to define how great the American system of government was. How, by creating our magnificent democracy, we became that “shining city on a hill” before whom the entire world should stand in awe.

Pretty cool, huh? Kinda makes the heart swell with pride. Makes you want to say “Yeah! America IS great! Take that, Uganda! Our system of government, like totally rules! USA! USA!”. You might even paint something on your chest. That kind of thing.

Like all great phrases that are passed down through history only to pop out of the mouths of Republican candidates, however, this one has been perverted. When Sarah Palin refers to “AE,” she is not talking about our system of government. She is not referring to the Constitution or the three branches or the Bill of Rights.

The Governess, you see, is talking about two different things: she is talking about God and she is talking about us. And here, my friends, is where it gets a little creepy.

See, Palin’s definition of “AE” is not simply that our system of government is “exceptional.” It is that we have been chosen by God to be that shining city on the hill. God, you see, reached down from the heavens, laid His mighty hand on our collective shoulder and said “Guys, you’re the greatest.” And because He said so, We Are.

But it doesn’t stop there. It isn’t merely that we have been tapped by the Lord God to be the Leaders of the Free World. Nope. It’s also that we are, ourselves, exceptional. That’s right! Each and every one of us! (It’s kind of like Lake Wobegon, where all the children are above average.)

Now, if you think that kind of thinking has a jingoistic, ethnocentric or xenophobic quality, that’s because you’ve been paying attention. And if you think that I’m reading far too much into the Governess’ thinking, try this- from Roger Cohen of the Times- on for size:

“Sarah Palin loves the word “exceptional.” At a rally in Nevada the other day, the Republican vice-presidential candidate said: “We are an exceptional nation.” Then she declared: “America is an exceptional country.” In case anyone missed that, she added: “You are all exceptional Americans.”

And you, Ms. Palin, are an exceptional bonehead.

There’s one other thing that bugs me about this notion of “We’re better than everybody else” and it’s this: If you hold this notion and I dare to disagree with you- I’m trash-talking the country. If I see flaws (and there are flaws) in this government or in its actions over the years (i.e., the Iraq war, internment of Japanese Americans in WWII, the way we treated Native Americans), well then I obviously hate America.

Take it away, Sarah:

“Our opponent ... is someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect, imperfect enough, that he's palling around with terrorists who would target their own country." She also said, "This is not a man who sees America as you see America and as I see America."

This kind of demagoguery is effective on so many levels because the assumptions she makes are actually laid out in reverse. Let me show you:

Barack Obama sat on an educational board in Chicago with University of Chicago Professor William Ayers. Thirty years earlier, William Ayers was a member of the Weather Underground which violently targeted the American government to protest the Viet Nam war. Obama has met Ayers, so that makes them “pals.” If they are pals, Obama obviously shares Ayers’ worldview. If he shares Ayers’ worldview, he thinks America is flawed and it begs the question: Why does Barack Obama want to bomb America?

See how that works?

I will not argue with the idea that America is an exceptional nation. I believe it is. The American Experiment is a work of genius. It is not perfect, but it’s the best idea anyone has come up with and put into practice.

But God didn’t do it. We did it. And while some of us are exceptional…some are not. We have some of the hardest working people in the world here in America- productive, moral, dedicated, loyal and brave.

And so does China. And Brazil. And Sweden. Deal with it.

So knock off the rhetorical stroking, Sarah. I’m not buying it. And in five days, you can pack up your road show and take it back to Alaska.

With your exceptional wardrobe.

Bite me, Mr Bond

Kevin - Halloween is upon us, tomorrow, of course, and I want to encourage our folks here: if you happen to be renting some spooky vids this weekend, please stop by Shanghai Low's maggie sprocket film blog for a cursory rundown of some classic horror pictures you may or may not have seen. There is, also, a 007 retrospective, in anticipation of the opening of the new Daniel Craig picture. Please stop by and comment freely- many links, trailers, and film clips await. Click through the pics for a taste.




Also, folks, if you happen to be in the Chicago area over the holiday, Lifeline Theatre's critically-acclaimed production of Oscar Wilde's THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY has been extended to November 16th.



Our Own Kevin Theis - editor of this very blog - directed the skit, don't ya know. 'Nuff said.

Update: 2008

I know you might have seen it but...in case you didn't:

A Reminder of What We're Up Against, Part II

In case you had forgotten (WARNING: this is a PDF document):

http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2008/images/10/28/fake.sbe.flyer.pdf

h/t to Rob K.

Cafferty's at it Again

Jack Cafferty of CNN asks, no doubt facetiously: Why isn't Geoge W. Bush stumping for John McCain? After all:

"After his appearance with Barack Obama tonight at a rally in Kissimmee, Florida, former president Bill Clinton plans to criss-cross the country on behalf of Obama in the closing days of the campaign."

But isn't it odd that McCain's all alone out there, given the fact that:

"He has a sitting president in his party."

Yeah! A two term sitting President! So why is Bush at home instead of getting up before those big Pennsylvania crowds and saying "Vote for McCain Palin! Trust me! They are the team to lead you!"

Maybe because....they'd pelt him with old fruit?

Naah. Couldn't be.

Images

Kevin - here's my favorite picture from the campaign, so far (check out the yard sign), and my favorite commercial - just released today:

How Newt Minow May Have Won the Election

Sorry, no links. This is my own theory. Sit down.

First, who in the sweet hell is Newt Minow? I'll tell you who he is: he is this really, really old lawyer. He had a fairly impressive, behind the scenes career. He worked for the FCC, he was a foot soldier for Adlai Stevenson. Later, he was a big supporter of John Kennedy's. He also helped orchestrate the first televised debates featuring Nixon and Kennedy. In fact, Newt Minow is one of the founders of the Commission on Presidential Debates. Despite all these accomplishments, though, he's probably best known for a speech he gave in the early sixties where he branded the whole of television a "vast wasteland." Remember him now?

Frankly, I don't care. You will remember him after this. Because if Barack Obama is elected president next week, you can, in part, thank Newt. How do I know he deserves such credit? Well, I was invited to hear Newt speak recently and saw the old bugger in person. And he told us a story. Here 'tis:

As a member of the Commission on Presidential Debates, Newt, for many years, has been among the select few who call the shots after the campaigns are done negotiating the details of how the Presidential debates will be run. Most of the ground rules are set by the campaigns, but the Commission sets the date, times and moderators of the debates. As he described it, the Commission doesn't have much power, but they have some. And the week of the first presidential debate, they flexed what little power they had.

Perhaps you remember it: that week, the American financial system went into complete meltdown. This happened early in the week, on Monday afternoon. McCain and Obama were set to have their first debate on Friday. When the financial shit hit the fan, McCain dramatically announced that he would "suspend" his campaign, fly to Washington and try to hammer out a deal. Oh, what a hero he would be!

In order to accomplish this majestic feat, McCain also announced that he wanted to postpone the first debate. The negotiations in Washington, nay the future of the world was at stake! Who needed a debate? Postpone it!

(Cue dramatic music.)

The line in the sand was drawn. What was going to happen? There was a long pause. The Obama campaign had a pow-wow, arrived at a decision and finally announced that Obama had decided....to show up for the debate. So we had ourselves a little standoff. The gauntlets had hit the floor. The game was on. And naturally...it was time for someone to blink.

Cue Newt Minow. Minow, my new hero, and the Commission members met. They tried to figure out what would be the best choice for everyone involved. The made their decision and then they made an announcement of their own: if John McCain didn't show up for the first debate, the Commission on Presidential Debates would air the show anyway and turn it into a question-and-answer session for Obama. Obama could own the stage. He could discuss his policies, uninterrupted, in front of millions...for an hour and a half. In other words: McCain could either show up, or...give up the biggest audience of his career and cede ninety minutes of free national air time to his rival.

We all know what happened next. McCain blinked. He showed up. And Barack cleaned his clock. McCain's "suspend my campaign" charade was exposed for the fraud it was. After that night, as you may remember...it was all downhill. McCain's campaign never survived this first, devastating embarrassment.

So, yes - blame the crappy Bush economy and Chimpy's low popularity. Blame the idiotic Palin choice, McCain's advanced age and lack of charisma and skeletal freakishness. Blame Mark Salter's shitty instincts as a campaign manager. But if Obama wins and it comes time to dole out the credit:

Thank Newt Minow, won't you?

Grandmas for Obama

Courtesy of Aaron S., please check out the Grandmas for Obama. Here's a sampling. Gotta love these ladies:

"I am surprised that some of you are up in arms about my calling Sarah Palin a bitch, or John McCain an ass or even George Bush a jackass. I read your comments about how I should be more respectable and not call Sarah Palin a bitch. Some of you are actually praying for me because I called John McCain an ass. In particular I am struck by the comments that suggest the problem with our country is that we can’t have an intelligent conversation to solve our problems without resorting to name calling like when I called George Bush a jackass. Well this old broad is hurt. Clearly I didn’t start this blog to call Sarah Palin a bitch…or John McCain an ass - or even George Bush a jackass. I am so sorry if I have offended any of you.

What was I thinking when I called Sarah Palin a bitch? New rules:

I will stop calling George Bush a jackass when he stops calling me a terrorist: Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.

I will stop calling John McCain an ass when he stops calling Barack Obama a socialist at every dog and pony show on the Straight Talk Express tour.

I will stop calling Sarah Palin a bitch when she stops calling Obama a terrorist sympathizer. And I will stop calling Sarah Palin a bitch when she stops calling the parts of the country where I don’t live more Pro-American than the part of the country where I do live. And I will definitely stop calling Sarah Palin a bitch when she stops acting like a bitch."

Ba-BOOM! Go get 'em, gals!

Long Overdue

Next Best Headline

"Ted Stevens Guilty on All Counts."

That's seven counts, baby! A perfect appetizer for next week. As long as we aren't complacent!

Best. Headline. Ever.

Courtesy of Brother David:

"Zombies Pose No Threat at Palin Event"

This is NOT "The Onion." This is real.

That "Rogue" V.P.

It appears that the Maverick and his favorite Cheerleader are headed for a breakup.

As pointed up this weekend by our own Mr. Pickering, the B.M.O.C McCain and Homecoming Queen Palin are going through some pre-Election day tension. How bad are things over in Camp McCain?

"Four Republicans close to Palin said she has decided increasingly to disregard the advice of the former Bush aides tasked to handle her, creating occasionally tense situations as she travels the country with them. Those Palin supporters, inside the campaign and out, said Palin blames her handlers for a botched rollout and a tarnished public image — even as others in McCain's camp blame the pick of the relatively inexperienced Alaska governor, and her public performance, for McCain's decline."

In case you don't speak politics, the short translation of the above is: the bus has started rolling. It is now a wrestling match between the candidate and his running mate as to who gets thrown under it. By next Wednesday, if the McCain-Palin ticket loses, expect to see tire tracks on the Governess' face.

I love the "botched rollout" line. It presumes that, naturally, Palin's image as a doofus is no fault of her own. It's the way they rolled her out, get it? Her public image is "tarnished" because of the McCain campaign's constraints upon her. Not because she's an Arctic bobble-head.

The article goes on to describe Palin's top ten moments- good and bad- on the campaign, finishing up by desribing her Couric interview as "water torture." But...

"Some McCain aides say they had little choice with a candidate who simply wasn't ready for the national stage, and that Palin didn't forcefully object."

If that reads to you as "She totally asked for it," that's because you're reading it correctly.

"Moments that Palin's allies see as triumphs of instinct and authenticity...they dismiss as Palin's "slips and miscommunications," that is, her own incompetence and evidence of the need for tight scripting. But Palin partisans say she chafed at the handling."

Guess that's what happens when you hire a "maverick." They tend to chafe when you try to....you know....handle them.

Who's to blame for turning Palin into a national joke?

"Some aides say that she's a flawed candidate whose handling exaggerated her weak spots....[Another] said that Palin's inexperience led her to her own mistakes."

So if they blow it next week, will that be the last we see of the Governess?

"If McCain loses, Palin's allies say that the national Republican Party hasn't seen the last of her...Palin would return to a state...where her image as a reformer who swept aside her own party's insiders rings true, if not in the cartoon version the McCain campaign presented. "There are people in this campaign who feel a real sense of loyalty to her and are really pleased with her performance and think she did a great job," said the McCain insider. "She has a real future in this party."

I don't know who these "inside-the-campaign" retards are, but I sure do hope they're right. Because if there's one thing I've learned to hope for in this campaign season, it's this:

More Palin, please.

Endorsement Update: Dateline Alaska

The Editor and Publisher website's latest banner headline: "Alaska's Biggest Paper Endorses... Obama." Of course, a primary reason why they're not picking McCain is- you guessed it- his choice of Governess Palin as his running mate. The entire article is worth reading, but here's the money quote:

"Like picking Sen. McCain for president, putting [Palin] one 72-year-old heartbeat from the leadership of the free world is just too risky at this time."

Aaaand...ouch.

What else?

"In another major move on Sunday, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram endorsed Obama, meaning three of the top five Texas dailies have switched from Bush in 2004 to Obama this year. The others are the dailies in Houston and Austin. That makes at least 33 papers nationwide that have switched from Bush to Obama."

Boo-yah! Keep the good news a-comin'!

More Rock-Solid Advice from Pie-Face

Bill Kristol, who is inexplicably writing for my beloved New York Times, has written another advice column today for the benefit of the McCain campaign. McCain, for his part, has not solicited this advice, didn't listen to it the last time it was offered and, it is likely, will not heed it this time.

Does this shut Bill up? If you think so, you clearly don't know Bill. Check out these gems:

With McCain in a hole, Kristol says: "Time for McCain to attack — or, rather, finally to make his case."

I'm sorry: Now is the time for McCain to finally make his case? Don't you mean, like, two months ago, Bill? Voters go to the polls a week from tomorrow.

But Bill has more advice: "Last week’s New York Times/CBS News poll showed 64% of voters saying McCain is spending more time attacking the other candidate than explaining what he would do as president...When you’re in a hole, stop digging. McCain could order his campaign to pull all negative ads, mailers and robocalls."

Um, Bill? That's his entire campaign. All McCain does these days is (a) attack Obama on the stump and on the tee-vee, (b) broadcast scary commercials and (c) call up people in their homes and try to scare them with creepy, pre-recorded messages. Now, I agree: they aren't working. But what would you recommend in the alternative with seven days to go?

"[H]e might as well muzzle the campaign."

Oh, this guy is a big help.

"McCain campaign senior staff members now seem to be spending more time criticizing one another than Obama, and more time defending their own reputations than pursuing a McCain-Palin victory. McCain should simply say that for the last week of the campaign, no staff member is authorized to speak to the media about anything beyond logistical and scheduling matters."

Okay, you get the scenario, right? McCain basically says "Everybody shut up! Sarah and I have got this thing." Like Pie-Face says: "[McCain and Palin] should throw themselves open full time to the media. Could the press coverage get worse? Next Sunday, McCain and Palin could divide up the talk shows. Sarah Palin live! Lots of people would tune in."

Really! Lots! And they would hear...?

"Palin could speak first, reprising her fine recent speeches on women’s issues and special needs kids — speeches that got almost no press coverage."

ALWAYS a good idea: if you give a speech that no one listens to...by all means: repeat it.

"She could then introduce her running mate, reminding people of his heroism, and pointing out, as she does on the stump, that he is the only candidate “who has truly fought for America.”

Which amounts to repeating her convention speech. See how this works? Kristol's advice is: Do something. Watch it fail. Do it again. Hope for better. Isn't that fantastic?

"As for McCain, he needs to speak about America’s greatness and its future; about how the ingenuity and toughness of the American people will turn around this financial crisis just as the ingenuity of General Petraeus and the toughness of his fighting men and women..."

And OH MY GOD I fell asleep again in the middle of that shit!

Kristol's final words of advice (though he has one more column next week before Election Day):

"McCain has a chance to close this election in a big and positive way. He has a chance to get voters to rise above the distractions and to set aside the petty aspects of the campaign. He has a chance to remind them why they have admired him, and perhaps to persuade them to vote for him on Nov. 4."

Let me translate: McCain should be positive. Sure, he's run the most negative campaign in history, but this is all about endings, right? He should set aside the "petty" aspects of the campaign (which he, himself, created) and maybe people will remember what a super guy he is instead of the douche-bag image he has projected since he won the primary.

After all, as Kristol says: "Would this turn things around? Unlikely. But why not take a shot?"

Because it's really fucking stupid, Bill. That's why.

Senator Coleman Loses...

...HIS MIND!

Ladies and gentlemen, let us pause our bewilderment and disgust at the McCain/Palin campaign (and I say this as a man who voted for McCain in the 2000 primaries), to revel in the truly despicable antics of Minnesota senator Norm Coleman's re-election campaign, being waged against former SNL writer Al Franken. Down in the polls for the first time, Senator Coleman has allowed the NRSC (National Republican Senatorial Committee) to mail this "comic book" to Minnesotan children:
























I think we can all agree, anyone who uses tactics like this deserves to lose. Setting aside Mr. Franken's earlier profession (COMEDIAN!), and setting aside too the fact that Coleman just announced he's pulling down all negative ads, but is allowing the NRSC to mail this out for him - aside from all that, do you see the biting irony? This is the very sort of unbecoming behavior that is decried in this mailer! "A BAD EXAMPLE FOR OUR KIDS" and "COMPLETELY UNFIT FOR PUBLIC OFFICE" indeed!

Hey - Don't I Know You?

Ah, Kevin - another day, another rack of Alaskan impropriety with Palin hoof prints all over it. This time, amid news that the Mayor of Moosejaw is going rogue over at Camp Country First, the AP has a comprehensive article detailing the deal her Administration struck on building that fabulous - yet nonexistent - natural gas pipeline up there, lauded in GOP song and story. This, after her very interesting shift in attitude for her Brian Williams interview (above).

So, I thought it was time to dash off a personal note to Our Sarah (the original was written in crayon so that her youngest daughter could read it to her):

Dear Winky -

I see where you're going with this "mean ol' Media/everybody's wrong about the facts" tactic, now, and I gotta say I'm not buyin' it. My apologies - I don't think I'm gonna be feelin' sorry for you anytime soon. In fact, I won't be letting up on the brickbats at all. Know why? 'Cause you're a liar. And worse: you believe your lies, in a sort of pathological way. Think I don't know you? You're dangerous.

You see, back home, with your considerable instinct, and good looks, and patronizing high school humor, you've winked your way into a pretty sweet deal: nice houses you charge the taxpayers for, paid friends, political power - such as it is - and free trips for the kiddies. All under the heading of "God's Will." Bully for you and Todd. Do I care? No, not really. I don't live there. Everyone I ever met from Alaska was either white trash, a full-blown nutbag, or hiding from something - oftentimes all three in one. I have, however, during this process, been impressed with your news people up there. They, unlike you, seem to have the good of common folk in mind. I'm sure many others do, too. You? You work for the betterment of the Sarah Palin - and that's it.

Now, fess up, baby - you didn't think twice when you got that first phone call from The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight, did you? You agreed to take this ride right away, I know - many reports concur. You didn't think about it. You didn't need to think about it. You didn't really consider what it might be like, for you or your family. That 'cause it's All About Sarah, as opposed to Eve. By the way - have you seen that picture? I'll bet you have. But you assumed everyone - kindly World Media included - would fall for you and your game. That you'd just be able to lie through, or end run around any situation that required three-dimensional thought, with a wink and a smile and a "you betcha" - just as you've done your entire life. C'mon, Winky - five colleges in six years? Think I don't know you? How's your daughter doing after being outed to the world as knocked-up and unmarried for the sake of your career? Sleepin' good, is she? It'll get worse - trust me. Them press folk won't be goin' away anytime soon. And they love to burn them down some young ladies. Her soon-to-be husband - still a drop-out? Good thing you encouraged him to stay in school. Your commitment to the education of our young people is staggering.

But here's some Straight Talk for you: you lied to us when you first came into our consciousness, and you're still lying to us now. I gotta say, you scared the shit out of me when you hit the stage at St. Paul. Great speech. Unfortunately, you lied your way all the way through it: about your record, about earmarks, about being a reformer, about taxes, about your budgets, about how you left Wasilla in fiscal security, about the plane on e-bay, and about the Bridge to Nowhere. You also made fun of community organizers - as if you had ever done anything that remotely noble in your own life.

And then you hit the stump - and, man, are you great out there on that stump! Say what they will - no one can deny your effectiveness as a speaker, or as a magnetic personality that moves large audiences right to the naked emotional places that you need them to go - it's a fact. A really frightening one.

But the real fun started out there, huh? Your lies were being exposed by then, but you kept right on lying, didn't you? To the point where I wondered if you actually believed your version of events. In a kind of pathological way, you know? You lied about the Obama campaign sending a team of lawyers to Alaska, you lied about calling the librarian to see if you could ban books, and you lied about the Alaska Legislature investigation into Troopergate being partisan. You're not an energy expert, and you don't know a damn thing about the Russians - beyond, say, what you remember from Rocky and Bullwinkle. I know you.

Worse, still: you incited your white crowds to threats and the potential for violence - even after you knew it was dangerous to do so. You said it wasn't negative. That's a lie. You race-baited, called your opponents terrorists, anti-American, and - my favorite - Socialist. Check it out, honeybunch: up in Alaska, you run your government off oil company income. Then you apply for federal funding - with earmarks - which gives you a budget surplus. Then you take that surplus and pay it back to the citizens of Alaska in checks. Know what that is, Winky? Socialism. Feel free to look it up.

Then there was Katie Couric. Later, you lied about your frame of mind during the interviews. You lied about Couric, and you lied about that being gotcha journalism - "What do you read?" Please. Winky, you don't read. You sure as hell don't read The Economist. People who subscribe to The Economist don't read The Economist. You're lying. It's always someone else's fault isn't it? Think I don't know you? I know you.

The Troopergate report came out, and you announced that you were so relieved to be cleared of all wrongdoing, ethical or legal, by it. You're lying. It actually says quite the opposite. And, again, I wondered if this was something pathological. I mean, that lie is such an extraordinary whopper - I, like a lot of folks, printed the damn thing out, you know. We can read. And there were 10 Republicans on that panel - only 4 Democrats. Case in point: you correct people, and call it Tasergate. A more sympathy-evoking name, and, by the way, a Freudian admission that you were out solely to get Mr. Tasar fired, and ended up firing the guy who wouldn't fire Mr. Taser. And, though, having done nothing illegal, per se, you're guilty of an ethics violation. Think anyone cares? They do when you lie about it. You could've apologized to the people of Alaska - citing family turmoil - and moved on. But you don't ever do anything wrong, do you?

Then it's revealed that you got $178,000 worth of clothes, make-up, and personal grooming for you and your family. Did you try to refuse it like, maybe, a true reformer or fiscal conservative might? Nope. You took it, baby. And now you tell me you had no idea how much that stuff cost. That's a lie, 'cause, for one thing, ya gotta tailor stuff like that to get it fit well, Winky. And, unless you got a body double runnin' around, you were there when it was bought, and you were there when it was altered. You know how much it cost. You even got snippy backstage at SNL when they wouldn't let you wear your new stuff. Think I believe you when you say it was always going to be given to charity? Nope. Think I believe you when you say you and Todd are frugal? Nope. You and Todd are the Beverly Hillbillies, with your eyes on a prize, now and forever. Think I don't know you?

And now, your play is for sympathy. Now, it's your mean ol' handlers over at Camp Country First that botched your roll-out. Now, it's the dastardly Liberal Media that's gotten all the facts wrong about every story out there. Tell you what, Winky: regardless of how the election turns out, you're gonna be just fine. The way we reward liars and criminals in this country, I think, speaks for itself. If your side loses, first you'll get the book deal, then, maybe, the chat show - or become a pundit like Karl Rove. Speaking engagements, personal appearances - holy cow - you and Todd are set for life. Millions, baby. You may even be able to send your son-in-law through college - but I doubt you'd do that. You don't have the character.

Right now, though, you're running for the second most powerful office in the world. And if your side wins - and that old man becomes ill or, God forbid, passes - you'd be President of the United States, with the full power of the American Armed Forces and Nooculer Arsenal at your Pentecostal finger tips. And that's just too frightening for me to contemplate. I like to believe, given those events, that you would be stopped in some way - impeached by the Congress - but with the last eight years of unconstitutional horror under our belts, and no sign of criminal prosecution, or even hearty chastisement on the horizon, I wouldn't bet on it. My faith is gone, frankly, in the press - and in the current state of government - to accomplish anything that has the public good in mind.

You see, between you and I, I don't think people have any idea how bad things are going to get this coming year. French Revolution bad. Home foreclosure. Poverty. Violence, it's sad to say. A wholesale rethinking of our political philosophy. History tells us that could either be a time of great enlightenment, or a fast slide down the right-wing well into something even more ugly than we have now. So, the people we need in government are going to have to be our best and brightest. Our most brilliant - people we trust. Or, at least as far as one can trust any politician, I suppose. Not the ones like you - popular religious right-wing liars - who would be most likely to, say, put illegal immigrants in internment camps, for example.

Think that's too far? Perhaps. Am I just another paranoid Liberal running around with his head on fire, screaming Fascist? Maybe so - but there is that pesky Global Economic Meltdown going on, and we know from history, small reactionary political movements have a way of catching on in times of dire economy. Case in point, let's check out how ugly things got on the stump in Iowa, yesterday:



And just so we've got that straight, here's the partial transcript:

"See, under a big government, more tax agenda, what you thought was yours would really start belonging to somebody else, to everybody else. If you thought your income, your property, your inventory, your investments were, were yours, they would really collectively belong to everybody. Obama, Barack Obama has an ideological commitment to higher taxes, and I say this based on his record... Higher taxes, more government, misusing the power to tax leads to government moving into the role of some believing that government then has to take care of us. And government kind of moving into the role as the other half of our family, making decisions for us. Now, they do this in other countries where the people are not free. Let us fight for what is right. John McCain and I, we will put our trust in you."

Wow. Huffington Post is calling you "unhinged" today because of this little speech, Sam Stein labels it your "Communist Nightmare Scenario." Haven't seen it on anyone else's radar, this morning, though, so far. Hopefully, if you keep it up, they'll notice. I'm praying they do. I'm spreading it far and wide, myself, I know.

But congratulations, Winky - with this performance, you've been upgraded to something we haven't seen in this country in quite some time. Something really, really dangerous. Did you catch that member of your audience - about 38 seconds in - screaming "He's a nigger!"? I did.

So, yeah, maybe I'm just being a paranoid wienie, but, hell, I didn't think America would ever commit a preemptive military strike on another country, either - but we did. I didn't think we would ever have an Attorney General who deemed the Geneva War Convention Dictates, "quaint and outdated" - but we did. I didn't think this nation would ever torture people, or run secret foreign prisons. But we did - and are still doing so. I didn't think - after Nixon - that there would be official initiatives run through the White House whose sole mechanism was to steal elections for the incumbent political party, an eye on dynasty. But there they were.

Even today, GOP lawyers are filing lawsuits to have voter rolls purged in many states. Thank God the Obama campaign anticipated that, and has lawyers in the field all over the place, too, 'cause no one else seems to be doing anything about it. The Justice Department certainly isn't. Nor our Free Press. They report Republican election fraud from years past as blithe matters of course - bland traditions - not couched in terms of outrage. We've gotten so used to it, you see?

Look - we just don't need you. We have to step back, now, as a nation, and consider - really weigh and consider - our future direction, with imagination and real sociopolitical solutions, helpful to all of our people - not just the ones that are acceptable to you. We need to come together and ask Americans to work harder, and be more cooperative and patient, than they've been asked to be in two generations.

Rose colored? Sure. Why not? The thing is, Winky, in that scenario - and it's a crucial one for our survival - I know I'd get a better shake from Obama and the Democrats than from your proven pack of Republican thugs. And you, too, certainly. "Rogue" and "unhinged" are not the qualities I would immediately recommend as leadership staples during a Global Economic Meltdown. You come at me, all winky and smiley, and charismatic as hell, with all those lies - a flag in one hand, and a cross in the other, as Mr. Sinclair said: a hollow shell of self-consumed opportunism and race-baiting division. The poster child for anti-intellectual elitism and hate-based reactionary political thought. You're a slippery slope to calamity, my girl. And I so desperately need my country to be safe.

Safety, however, is not an option with you. As of yesterday, I've even come to believe that no behavior, criminal or otherwise, is beyond your level of pious justification. Bush? Yeah, I think so, actually. He's put the brakes on a couple of times, despite his well-earned track record. McCain? Certainly. At the end of the day, that old man knows right from wrong. But you? Absolutely not. Given actual power, you would justify whatever atrocity available, by any means necessary, without losing five minutes of sleep.

Sorry 'bout that. I'll buy your book - watch your show - but don't ask me to play your sympathy game. It's far too dangerous. I know you, like I said. And I'll keep right on writing about you, and encourage anyone else I meet to do the same.

'Cause you see, Winky, as an American, you're everything I'm supposed to hate.

Love,
Me

Are You Now, or Have You Ever Been?

Up at KAKM, Public Television in Anchorage, Alaska, they are in the midst of debates for their upcoming State House Representatives elections, led by host Michael Carey - who, on reading a few of his columns, seems a sane, forthright news fellow.

It's a good thing Carey is, too, as he would need all that intestinal fortitude not to break into uncontrolled giggles over the dulcet stylings of Daniel "Missle Gap" DeNardo from the Alaska Independence Party - First Dude Todd Palin, Alumni.

As you see, Daniel has charts. Very helpful.

The Obamicans

Until now, they've only been a myth. A legend. Like Sasquatch. Or Compassionate Conservatives. But no. It turns out that, at the end of the day, they really are out there.

The Obamicans. Or, as they like to be called: Republicans for Obama.

And what do you know? They have been around for awhile. Why haven't we really heard of them until recently? Well the truth is...there haven't been that many prominent Obamicans.

But these days? They're everywhere. Who's on the team? Mouseketeer roll call!

"The latest high-profile desertions include Scott McClellan, George Bush's former press secretary, who endorses Obama in a taped CNN programme to be broadcast this weekend, and William Weld, the Republican governor of Massachusetts from 1991 to 1997...Last weekend, Bush's former secretary of state, Colin Powell, Obama's biggest Republican catch so far, publicly backed the Democratic candidate."

Welcome aboard, boys. Grab a chair. This is gonna be great.

Cabinet Concerns

Reading a fascinating, heartening, and occasionally head-scratching article (here) on a possible Obama cabinet. Mostly good names (seriously, Axelrod, Fitzgerald, and Power are all people I cannot help but revere), but the thing that made me happiest was that Obama is already vetting 700 (!) people for possible positions. I remember at the end of Clinton's first year in office just how many posts were vacant. We don't have time to screw around here, and thank God Obama knows it.

Now, McCain has called this presuptuous, has accused Obama of "measuring the drapes in the Oval Office" before he's been elected. Part of me says, yeah, it's true, the election hasn't happened. Cart before the horse and all. But then I reflexively ask, "Tell me, John - why aren't you picking out a cabinet? Why aren't you vetting 700 people? If you're elected, you'll need to fill all those posts. Do you even have a plan past November 4th?"

I was just discussing this with my father, the wisest man I know (and I don't say that lightly). After talking it over, we let the topic drop. But a few minutes later he said to me, "David, I just figured it out. He doesn't have to vet anyone - they're all already in the jobs they're going to hold."

It's the most rational answer to the question of "why isn't McCain preparing to be president?" But, fair minded person that I am, I come to one of two possible, logical conclusions:

1 - McCain has no plan, no forethought, no drive beyond wanting to be elected president. He has no intention of actually governing.

2 - McCain has a plan, and that plan is, with a few high-profile exceptions, to leave all the Bush people in the posts they already hold. Cause hell, if it ain't broke...

Either way, folks, this is probably the most damning evidence that McCain = Bush.

Genetically Ignorant

Science blogs all over the net are lighting up like Christmas trees this morning as Serial Breeder and Congenital Idiot, Governor Sarah Palin, stood up on her hind legs, yesterday, and gave her first Policy Speech. Hoo-rah. Can't wait.

The subject was full federal funding for the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Her focus is Special Needs Children - research and support - admittedly, a worthy cause - and one, of course, she would, and should, be interested in, having an infant with Down Syndrome. An infant that she can't seem to stop herself from hauling in front of every news camera available in her pathetic need for "I'm a Victim of the Media" identification and sympathy. I'm personally thinking we need a Free Trig Initiative, attached to IDEA, considering the way the poor little guy gets trundled out for a photo-op by his horror of a mother.

Anyway, where - since we have cash aplenty these days - does the Palin Special Olympics think this funding will come from? Why, from that insidious Senatorial Earmark Spending, her running mate, Dr. Strangelove, is always screaming about.

Now, setting aside the fact that the money she's talking about has already been budgeted elsewhere in the searingly thought-provoking McCain Economic Plan, and overlooking all of the votes that the Old Maverick, himself, has cast on the Senate floor against the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act - lets just come right out and agree that this is a worthy priority, and that she might even have a shot at funding it that way.

It is certainly doubtful that she would get any argument from the McCain Brain Trust, since, according to the now-legendary New York Times Magazine article, just released online, they, and their Fearless Leader, had no qualms about taking the fast-track "Nice tits!" approach to choosing their Vice-Presidential candidate - why would they deny her anything? With those boys around, Palin would have little difficulty in pulling the initiative off.

Fair enough. So, what are some of the features of this program? I'll give you one: autism research.

Specifically: "For many parents of children with disabilities, the most valuable thing of all is information. Early identification of a cognitive or other disorder, especially autism, can make a life-changing difference."

Which, frankly, surprises me, since so many of Palin's new-found right wing pals like Dennis Leary and Radio Fascist Michael Savage feel that autism is a condition that can be easily corrected by slapping some good manners into an afflicted child. But I can understand that: they're very rich, and they damn well want to stay that way - they don't have children with autism - and if they can keep their tax rate down by convincing the Mouth Breathers in this country it's a swell idea to keep voting against all those Socialist New Deal programs designed to help working folks, for the promise of striking it rich just like them - then why would they want tax money going for Education or Science, an' such, as well? My God - they'd lose their base audience.

But back to Palin's news conference. Again - how would this get paid for? By getting rid of all that pesky earmarkin', like I said. Got any outstanding examples of that, Miss Wasilla? You betcha:

"You’ve heard about some of these pet projects they really don’t make a whole lot of sense and sometimes these dollars go to projects that have little or nothing to do with the public good. Things like fruit fly research in Paris, France. I kid you not."

(Pause.)

Now, just out of curiosity, class - how many of you know why the scientific study of fruit flies, in general, would warrant federal funding? Anyone? That's alright - I know Dancin' With The Stars is on. I'll tell you: among other things relating to genetics, it is essential for our understanding of a protein called neurexin, also found in human form. What does neurexin do? It's required for nerve cell connections to form and function correctly. Here's a little Straight Talk from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill:

"The discovery, made in Drosophila fruit flies may lead to advances in understanding autism spectrum disorders, as recently, human neurexins have been identified as a genetic risk factor for autism."

(Pause.)

At this point, I'll let P. Z. Myer, a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris take over:

"I am appalled. This idiot woman, this blind, shortsighted ignoramus, this pretentious clod, mocks basic research and the international research community. You damn well better believe that there is research going on in animal models — what does she expect, that scientists should mutagenize human mothers and chop up baby brains for this work? — and countries like France and Germany and England and Canada and China and India and others are all respected participants in these efforts.

Yes, scientists work on fruit flies. Some of the most powerful tools in genetics and molecular biology are available in fruit flies, and these are animals that are particularly amenable to experimentation. Molecular genetics has revealed that humans share key molecules, the basic developmental toolkit, with all other animals, thanks to our shared evolutionary heritage (something else the wackaloon from Wasilla denies), and that we can use these other organisms to probe the fundamental mechanisms that underlie core processes in the formation of the nervous system — precisely the phenomena Palin claims are so important.

This is where the Republican party has ended up: supporting an ignorant buffoon who believes in the End Times and speaking in tongues while deriding some of the best and most successful strategies for scientific research. In this next election, we've got to choose between the 21^st century rationalism and Dark Age inanity. It ought to be an easy choice."

I think that's all pretty clear, don't you? Chalk up another outstanding research/vetting job by Wunderkind Steve Schmidt and the Oil Lobbyists over there at Camp Country First - the folks whose talking points include ignoring the causes of global warming as a means of eradicating it.

Has it ever occurred to any of these GOP Creation-Only Brainiacs, that, after decades of Republican Congressional rule, had more legislative funding gone to medical research, as opposed, to say Abstinence Programs or Faith-Based Initiatives, families like Palin's might've been spared a child with disabilities? Or had not religious bigots like Michelle Bachmann been so convinced that stem-cell research was some form of murder in the eyes of their self-consumed image of God, that even now, they could be gleaning the sage counsel of, say, Ronald Reagan, as their Sainted Party implodes in scandal, misjudgement, and embarrassment? Doubtful - as that would require actual thought.

It is little wonder, though, that Palin is interested in scientific research - at least as she sees it. Beyond what basic misunderstanding she might have about the mechanics of birth control - or her inability to impart the hazards of same to her offspring - her entire experience in public service has one up on that most famous of experimental mammals: Pavlov's Dog.

In his case, through careful conditioning, you could ring a bell, and ol' Rex, anticipating a meal, would start to salivate. But if you wave a microphone near Palin's pie hole, not only will she lie like Pinocchio, but she'll say something dangerously stupid, as well. Every time.

But, boy, Dr. Strangelove - do her tits look great in that suit!

The Story That Wasn't

The summer I graduated from college, the Tawana Brawley story broke. Remember that one? Maybe so, maybe not. Here's why I remember it so well: it took place just a few miles from where I went to school. Here are the basics:

Ms. Brawley, a 15-year-old girl, went missing in November of 1987 in upstate New York. When she finally turned up, she had quite a story to tell. According to her, she had been assaulted by six white men, including, astonishingly, a few cops. It was, needless to say, a huge story. Incendiary. Inflammatory. (Which is the same thing.) Explosive. (Which is really similar.) Plus rabble-rousing! Really. There was rabble. And they were roused.

Simply put, it was a bit upsetting. And it became even more upsetting when it turned out (and I'm sure you're way ahead of me here) not to be true. I'd go into the whole thing, but it's a mess. If you're really want to know about it, it's all here.

Why bring this up? If you've been paying attention to the news, you already know, but let's just keep going as if you don't, okay?

It appears, I'm sorry to inform you if you haven't heard, that a young woman (who happens to work for the McCain campaign) was attacked by a black man in Pittsburgh because she had a McCain bumper sticker on her car. He, you won't be surprised to hear, was an Obama supporter and he treated the young lady quite poorly. He sexually assaulted her, beat her up and cut a large "B" on her face, presumably for "Barack."

And it is a horrible story. Horrible. And, of course, it's all a lie.

The best part of this story- and yes, there is a "best" part, despite the sordidness of the whole flippin' thing, lies in the FOX news report by John Moody, their Executive Vice President. What did Mr. Big Brain have to say? I won't be greedy. I'll share:

"If Ms. Todd’s allegations are proven accurate, some voters may revisit their support for Senator Obama, not because they are racists...but because they suddenly feel they do not know enough about the Democratic nominee."

Really, fuck-face? Let's suppose, for a moment, that this bullshit story was true. Suppose a violent black man, with no connection whatsoever to the Obama campaign, had attacked and mutilated this poor woman. This would mean that voters would, understandably, have suddenly felt they don't know enough about the Democratic nominee? Quick question: How? Really and truly, HOW?

But he's not done. He's got one last shot to get in. He says:

"If the incident turns out to be a hoax, Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting."

So. Now we know it's a hoax. Thus, QED (at least according to Mr. Moody) it is now okay for us to say:

"Congratulations, Barack. The election, according to FOX news, is officially over."

You disagree? Don't talk to me. Talk to FOX. I just report.

You decide.

Surprise, A@@hole!

Just watched Tucker Bounds doing his bland-devil shtick on MSNBC, and it left me with two thoughts:

1 - Why is everyone with the first name of Tucker a Republican shill/hack/talking head? Tucker Bounds, Tucker Carlson, Tucker Eskew, etc. I knew a John Tucker, and he was far from a jerk. Is there a spatial relationship to the name (first v. last) that makes a man want to hurt America?

2 (and this is what got me) - Bounds invoked "real Americans" again. I know, I know, it's everywhere - McCain, Palin, that idiot congresswoman Bachmann, Romney, Pfotenhauer, et al. But Bounds was my snapping point. Don't know why, but he's the one. Maybe because he says it so calmly - he's very good at what he does.

Now, I'm hardly the first to lose my temper over this. I've been admiring Jon Stewart's restrained rage all week at this narrative. But today I've had enough.

Fortunately, I've got a little news for Mr. Bounds, something he hates to hear. Know what, Tuck? While you're busy courting your "real Americans," us fake Americans get to vote too.

Asshole.

October Surprise

Okay, so in contemplating the options left to John McCain in the final days of this campaign, all I can think is: October Surprise.

They've got to have something- some scurrilous rumor they've been holding back, some incriminating looking but actually bogus video they've been sitting on, a photoshopped picture of Barack in a sleeping bag with Bill Ayers...something that they will try to use in the waning days to flip things their way.

After all...this is the point when campaigns get desperate. Things that, weeks ago, they never would have thought of using ("We can't do that. It would be too much.") suddenly become viable options when your chances look this bad. ("Say, Mark, you remember that video you showed me a couple of months ago...?")

What's more, in order for the Surprise to get traction and yet not become old news by the time the election rolls around, I'm predicting that it will come (assuming it arrives at all) around Thursday or Friday (Halloween!) of next week.

So what will it be? What will be the big "Aha!" that the McCain folks will try to foist on us in the next few days?

Make your predictions now!

"The cake is baked."

Still think it isn't possible to feel sorry for that mean ol' man John McCain?

Read this sad-ass article from truthout, wherein McCain's own people talk about fleeing his sinking ship like...well, I think we all know what flees a sinking ship. It almost makes you feel bad for the guy. Almost.

Quick quote:

"If you really want to see what 'going negative' is in politics, just watch the back-stabbing and blame game that we're starting to see," said Mark McKinnon, the ad man who left the campaign after McCain wrapped up the GOP primary. "And there's one common theme: Everyone who wasn't part of the campaign could have done better."

"The cake is baked," agreed a former McCain strategist. "We're entering the finger-pointing and positioning-for-history part of the campaign. It's every man for himself now."

Still too early for us to pop the champagne but...things are looking awfully good.

Stay focused, everybody. Eyes on the prize.

h/t to Gary H.

Another Gift

I love this woman. She could benefit from Palin's new Special Needs Children initiative.

We Have a Winner

As far as I'm concerned, the contest for Funniest Campaign Video of the Year is OVAH. h/t once again to Brother David. Enjoy.


Unbelievable McCain Vs. Obama Dance-Off - Watch more Free Videos

A Special Breed of Jackass

In this morning's Tribune, Palin tells us we don't have "the facts" as far as the 150K wardrobe scandal goes - "That's not who we are" - and she also identifies herself as a victim of the same "double standard" that beset Hillary Clinton.

How Low Can You Go?

If you're talking about Wingnuts, the answer is: pretty goddamn low.

Barack Obama leaves today to fly to Hawaii to visit his ailing grandmother, putting off campaigning for a couple of days so he can journey back and see the woman- who gave so much to him- before she dies. Why would he choose this weekend? Well...it happens to be her birthday on Sunday and (though Barack will leave Saturday) maybe he thought it would be nice to be there close to her big day.

It is a testament to the man's grateful nature that he is walking away from his Presidential campaign- right in the thick of things- to fly all that way just to see her. It is noble. Compassionate. It is something for which he should be commended.

Unless, of course, your job is to go on the radio and talk smack about the Democratic nominee.

So how, you may ask, can a right-wing radio dirtbag spin this story to make Barack look bad? How is it even possible to take a story about visiting your ailing grandmother and make Obama look sinister, mischievious and underhanded? If you're saying to yourself "That isn't possible!" then you obviously don't know just how evil these cocksuckers are.

Here's how they're playing it: Barack is NOT, in fact, going to Hawaii to visit his grandmother. He is going- ready?- to destroy or alter the Hawaiian birth records that would show that he is not qualified to be President.

Really.

Of course, he has to go there personally to do it. Like a ninja, he will sneak out of his hotel room, ditch his Secret Service protection, break into the Honolulu Birth Records Storage Building (or whatever they call it), tear up all the copies of his birth certificate (that read, I'm betting, "Barack Mohammed 'Death To America' Hussein Hitler Obama") and then substitute fake records that say "Barack James Basket of Flowers Obama," and then sneak back, stopping only to burn a flag and piss on the Constitution.

That seems to be the scenario that Limbaugh, Savage and the rest of them are creating, anyway.

Take a bow, boys! Nice work!

Under the Radar

The Obama/Biden campaign has a new website up, today, where you can track and report robocalls and slimy door hanger ads on an interactive national map.

Funny

Opie!

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die