Why is Rudy Guiliani so stupid? I mean, I actually liked the fact that he was stupid when he was the front-runner, proudly waving the 9/11 banner he had no right to wave, freaking people out with his "elect a Democrat and you might as well elect Osama" rhetoric, playing tough guy and pure-blooded patriot while his company, Guiliani Partners, was engaging in behind the scenes shenanigans. That Rudy Guiliani? I loved that guy.
He's the nominee we wanted. Unelectable, loathesome, saddled with a liberal view of so many lefty causes that there would be no way to woo the wacko base that supported Chimpy.
He was our guy and he was in front. The brass ring dangled in front of him. It was his for the taking.
So what happened?
Oh, so many things. First, he made the unfathomable decision to skip the early primaries. Granted, he was probably right in assuming that Iowans would never take to him. (It's hard to figure out who would.) But New Hampshire? They might have bitten into that poisoned apple. You never know. But no, Rudy put all his chips on Florida. What a dunce.
He also, by ignoring these states, allowed himself to be pushed off the front page for weeks. Suddenly it was all about "Omigosh! Huckabee won Iowa!" and "Yowza! McCain beat Romney in New Hampshire!" Nobody was talking about poor stupid Rudy. And while he was zipping around, bopping into rest home after rest home in Dade County, McCain was pressing flesh in South Carolina and looking, suddenly and inexplicably, like a winner.
By the time they got to Florida, which Guiliani dubbed "Rudy Country," it was suddenly "John Country," closely followed by "Mitt Country." Rudy was toast. And now he's done.
Damn it. He was our guy.
So long, Rudy. You jerk. You blew it. Now go make millions on the lecture circuit and leave us alone, willya?